Man overboard

I’m so tired.

I’m looking for you.

And when I find you, I’m going to kill you. For everything I stand against, for everything you stand for.

About time

This is the one where I say, about time I started posting like a “normal” blogger. 

This week, I will be spending half my time on a boat. My feet will rot off, my skin will be burned. I love it. I’m almost hoping an OBM drops on me and I get hurt so bad and get cuts all over, injured just enough to cause me some pain but not kicked out. 

I’ve been clicking “Don’t Save” so many times. On Toast Titanium, Microsoft Word, and this thing. It seems like I’m constantly making the decision not to save myself. 

Oh well: To my finger, which is going to drop off soon.

From the band that got me addicted on another song

Oh it’s healing
bang, bang, bang
I can hear your cannons call
You’ve been aiming at my land
Your hungry hammer is falling
And if you want me 
I’m your country

I’m an angel bored like hell
And you’re a devil meaning well
You steal my lines
And you strike me dumb
Come raise your flag upon me

And if you want me
I’m your country
If you win me,
I’m forever
Oh yeah

‘Cause you’re the storm that I’ve been needing
And all this peace has been deceiving
I like the sweet life
and the silence
But it’s the storm that I believe in

Come and conquer and drop your bombs
Cross my borders
and kill the calm
Bear your fangs and burn my wings
I hear bullets singing

And if you want me
I’m your country
If you win me 
I’m forever

‘Cause you’re the storm that I’ve been needing
And all this peace has been deceiving
I need some wind to get me sailing
So it’s the storm that I believe in

You fill my heart
You keep me breathing
‘Cause you’re the storm
that I believe in

And if you want me I’m your country

Late, fashionably.

It’s too late too fast. I see now, how everything is going to play out. He’s telling me to get out while I can. I’m telling him to get out while he can. I guess we’re both in it together, whatever. 

The pieces on the chessboard stand still. It’s not clear who’s winning- neither side has begun a deliberate attack. It seems like both are biding their time, testing the waters. 

I think again about the things that are going to happen, and wonder if changing the path towards the eminent result is going to cause more harm. Just as I begin, he steps in, late, as usual.

Late, fashionably.

§

We’re going in circles

Don’t want to go where we’ve been

You say you don’t know

I say I won’t show

There’s nothing for us here any longer

So say goodbye

 

The phone is still ringing

My heart is in here softly breaking

You catch me crying

I know you’re lying

Oh why, why did you take so long

To say goodbye

(piano)